sa aveti un an frumos!

m-am prins io ca asta le inseamna (sic!) pe toate
pup zdravan,
m

what happen while coaching: ES or RS?

TEDTalks : Daniel Kahneman: The riddle of experience vs. memory - Daniel...
From: TEDTalks (video)

It is a very challenging approach regarding the coaching process,
because the listening is important for both
empowering the client and asking question
to enlarge her/his frame of reference.
Daniel Kahneman speaks about the difference between
experience selves (ES) and remembrance selves (RS).

„The ES lives its life continuesly, it has moments of experience – one aftter the other. (..)The RS defines a story - the story the memory delivers for us, and is also true that we make up changes, significant moments and endings, endings are very very important. (..)”

When asking a question are you – as a coach -
experiencing your living-in-the present self or
you are preparing a story for your remembrance self?!
When answering a question is the client experiences
the living-in-the-present self
or he is preparing a story for her/his remembrance self?

Of course, there are 4 possible positions in a coaching session
ES (coach) & ES (client)
ES (coach) & RS (client)
RS (coach) & ES (client)
RS (coach) & RS (client)

Which of these is the most appropriate –
given the mandatory need of autenticity in coaching?!
Is it about a dynamic movement through it?

Clients came in coaching because of RS.
The problem is in the (recent) past,
therefore it has all the RS’characteristics.
Oups. Is coaching about the mastery of producing
better endings for your RS?!

That specific approach of coaching of ’using the present situation’
is working on the mechanism of making-up RS on the spot –
therefore better use their ES.

So, maybe ES-RS*ES-ES*ES-RS*ES-ES
could be a good secquence, quite similar to GROW model.
As it is obvious, the coach must stick with his ES!

Hm. By ending this way, am I working at my own happy RS? :)

Here you are some transcripts from the video.

”The psychological present is set to be about 3 seconds longIn a lifetime there are about 600 millions of them.(..)Most of them don’t live a trace, most of them are completely ignored by the RS, and yet somehow you get a sense that they should count, that what happends in these moments it is our life.The biggest difference between ES and RS is in the handling of time.RS is the one who has decisions. We actually don’t choose between expriences, we chose between memories of experiences.We think about the future as anticipated memories, not as about experiences. (..)The two selves bring up to notion of happiness. (..)RS: It is not about how happily that person live it is how satisfy or pleased that person is when that person thinks about her life. (..)The main lesson is: you can know how satisfied is somebody with their life, and that really doesn’t teach you much about how happily they live their life. And viceversa. (..)”

Watching the video further you will find out which is the turning point for happiness in terms of USD – for USA population :)

Cu tara mea, de ziua ei

Se spune ca boierii olteni care aveau podgorii
au angajat specialisti in degustarea vinurilor.
In germana, schmecken inseamna a avea gust, a fi bun la gust.
Omul care facea operatia era un smeker,
adica un specialist pe care nu-l puteai pacali cu un vin prost.
De aici, prin extensiune, smecher:
un individ istet, imposibil de tras pe sfoara.

Ma gandesc la Emil Cioran si la
”eram hotarat sa fiu liber (..),
sa nu muncesc in sensul care se atribuie muncii (..),
sa nu am nicio responsabilitate (..)”

Ai zice ca suntem cu adevarat un neam de..
”responsabili ai libertatii” -
imposibil de tras pe sfoara, monser!

Noroc!



imaginea e de la: trancevibe-music.blogspot.com

din lumea celor care prea* cuvanta

‎"What is in your mind?" zise Face Book
"I felt a Funeral in my Brain", raspunse Emily Dickinson

*nu/in varianta lui Emil Garleanu - azi, necunoscuta..

Synchronicity – The MEANING "Causing" Effects

There are a lot of theories about synchronicity –
numbers and expectations, y compris.

”Synchronicity is the coming together of
inner and outer events
in a way that cannot be explained by cause and effect
and that is meaningful to the observer.”
Carl Jung

I fully follow Alain Cardon in this description of
an encounter-syncronicity state.
”I think that synchronicity happens to me when
I am in a quasy-meditative state.
That is when I truly "trust the process"
and feel connected with myself
and with my surroundings if not with the universe”.

Therefore the training for seizing the moments of syncronicity
consists in being IN, being present,
attentive and aware of Self – in&out –
and this is the very meaning of being in a coaching relationship.

As for the ”collective intelligence” and ”correlated system”
for causa prima of syncronicity,
I will rather follow Teilhard du Chardin naming it
LE MILIEU DIVIN :)
And I will try a translation from Romanian:
”The charm of Divine Medium is
to be more and more intens within ourselves.”,
and further
”to be part of it is to be at full extent of your own.”

The more presence, the more extension,
and chance for noticing syncronicity.
What for?!
Well, as stated the famous friend of Niels Bohr:
”God is not playing dice”.
This is why is important seizing syncronicity.

If - as du Chardin said -
”acting is increasing the capability to love”,
I would say coaching is increasing the capability to act –
with and within whole Self and the Wholeness,
both for coach and client.

cea mai mare nevoie a celui ce apeleaza la antrenare

”Care credeti ca este cea mai mare nevoie din prezent a clientilor vostri?”
Mihai Stanescu pe ”Coaching in Romania”
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?sk=group_160169630689257

coachul bun pune intrebarea buna :)

cea mai mare nevoie ”din prezent”
- buna vorba lui Mihai -
e deprinderea atentiei focalizate,
la tine, la ceilalti, la afacere, la context, la viata, la toate alea.

ce?! cum?! hehe
cea mai mare nevoie e cea de schimbare,
de atingerea - si mentinerea - potentialului,
de leadership - aa - transpersonal!

poate nu m-am prins, da. asta cumpara omul de la mine.
atentie. focalizare. constienta.

gandindu-ma la raspuns - ha! auzi, atentia! -
am ”recoltat”(din englezescul recalled:))
proverbul ”buturuga mica rastoarna carul mare”
in cadrul de referinta setat de Eul Critic:
”oamenii vor spune ca ma ocup de neghinitze!”
(Neghinitza?! - alta recolta ”stransa” de atentia la ceea ce stiu :))
revenind la ”buturuga mica”:
tot buturuga mica te poate aduce sau abate
la/de la directia buna de miscare.

inchei citand celebra vorba a Comisarului Atentie:
”un fleac?! v-am ciuruit!”
:)

S.U.C.C.E.S.S

Acronym stands for: 

  1) Suppleness (incorporating thinking flexibly; creating, imagining & innovating; remaining open to continuous learning); 

  2) Understanding (incorporating listening with understanding & empathy; responding with wonderment & awe; gathering data through all senses); 

  3) Constructiveness (incorporating questioning & posing problems; applying past knowledge to new situations; thinking interdependently); 

  4) Courageous Thinking (incorporating persisting; taking responsible risks); 

  5) Exactness (incorporating striving for accuracy; thinking & communication with clarity & precision); 

  6) Self-management (incorporating thinking about thinking or meta-cognition; managing impulsivity); 

  7) Silliness* (incorporating finding humour) (from a review by Lee Say Keng on the book 'The Habits of S.U.C.C.E.S.S: Nurturing Intelligent people @School @Home @Work', by Henry Toi) 

 *nota mea: a se observa ca 'silliness' inseamna prosteala nu prostie..