30 aug. 2010

Are people reluctant to success?! How come?(2)

I noticed that the very effect of any good coaching question
is the ‘immediate success’ of the people you coach.
‘immediate success’ =
the body’s feeling when the child makes his very first baby-step;
a feeling of lightening and wellbeing after getting
into the chosen action, on the begining spot.
And yet there is a kind of resistance. ..
I put this question on few dedicated groups on LinkedIn.
Here you are some (more) answers:

Great discussin everyone -
something that I have encountered has been
resistance to success through fear of removing limiting beliefs
because it is like giving up everything you have ever had,
and in some ways with some people it is like
pulling the rug out from beneath their feet,
and they are then not so "safe" as they previously were in their life,
they want to hold onto a portion of negativity or
”I can'ts, it's not right, it will go wrong”
because it is as @Albert mentions comfortable.
When I sense this is happening with someone
I help them look at what the freedom from these limiting beliefs
and walking out of their comfort zone
will bring them and allow them to do/ to be/ to have in their lives,
and for each limiting belief or fear
we release/we add something into its place immediately
so that there is no void to fill.
Many of my clients enjoy the analagoy of the kitchen drawer that is full of rubbish -
you just keep filling it and filling it and each time you look in it it is a mess,
if you start to put lovely things into the front of the drawer
though at some stage their is no room left for
the rubbish you have kept hold of for so long and
it has no choice but to fall out of the back.
///Carol Dodsley

The resistance to change (or to succeed in this case)
is indeed an inertia.
@Albert and @Carol mention it as being in the comfort zone.
They are right, and
you have to help your coachee to look for
the deepest reason, the ultimate benefit of being successful.
If he/she finds this reason strong enough,
he/she will certainly defeat the inertia.
///Carlos Segura Ortega

I wonder if Marx theory has anything to do with it?
"to ease the misery and hardship experienced by
dehumanized people exploited
in work places by the new slave-drivers of
the Industrial Era — the capitalists.”
Hence, Marx concluded that ”religion is the opium of the people" and
that we use religion/spirituality to sooth ourselves.
(I love it-spirituality/meditation-it is a part of my personal sanctuary)
And I am "for" capitalism and religion/spirituality,
I am for fame, success and money (however each of us defines success).
And I so connected with Miles comment:
"Underneath it all,
we humans have amassed an enormous amount of a sense
of guilt, unworthiness, fear, grievances, doubts,"
yet I believe in addition to our own human resistances and beliefs,
if that is what we define them to be...
there are many nuances
(intra and inter personal, societal, universal and
those nuances that exist in not knowing what we don't know, etc...)
that may play into the phenomenon of "success reluctance or elusiveness"
and ashumans, we are wanting that next "immediate success".
I get that if it is all to be, it is up to me....
yet is it just inside of us?
Knowing that I am the only one that I have ability to do anything about....
(and I continue to work on the acquisition of patience!!) ;)...
I am so working on Heidegger's "beingness in the moment"...
thanks for the great question and feedback....love this forum!!
///Susan Grzeskowiak

Our brains tend towards homeostasis -
regulating our temperature, our breathing rate, our metabolism and ourselves!
We tend towards keeping things the same, preserving the status quo -
even if we aren't happy with the way things are.
Buidling motivation -
looking at all the benefits that change will bring -
helps us to keep going with the hard work needed to make the change.
Baby steps are the way to go -
building a little bit at a time
so our unruly brains can get used to each step and
come along with us rather than holding us back.
///Marian Kerr

Read first part here: are-people-reluctant-to-success-1 

cerere si oferta

"In orasul X, capitala de judet,
erau atat de multe frizerii si intreprinderi de pompe funebre,
incat ai fi putut crede ca locuitorii urbei
se nasc numai pentru
ca sa se barbiereasca, sa se tunda,
sa faca o frectie si - imediat dupa asta - sa decedeze."
Ilf si Petrov

"(Lenin) era un profund cunoscator al maselor
si nu stia nimic despre om."

citate in cartea lui Andrei Plesu, Note, stari, zile

26 aug. 2010


hainele de vară încă aşteaptă frumos
în rafturi de lemn suedez.
la geam, frunze galbene.


Summer clothes yet kindly await
on Swedish wooden shelves.
In sight, yellow leaves.
(hehe - not bad in English too)

24 aug. 2010

Romania care urmeaza

despre viitorul in prezent
(cautare google: ”urmeaza sa”)
Cazurile ce urmeaza sa fie prezentate in emisiune, ...
Urmeaza sa se introduca carti electronice de identitate ...
Strategia energetica a Romaniei urmeaza sa fie revizuita..
Obstacole firesti pe care urmeaza sa le intalnim. ...
Noua varianta a Legii salarizarii urmează să fie discutata luni ...
Sejurul Cesariei aici urmeaza sa inceapa in..
Urmeaza sa aiba loc o noua intalnire a creditorilor..
Partea romaneasca urmeaza sa asigure executarea lucrarilor pe....
Urmeaza sa fie elaborat si supus aprobarii..
Contributiile pe care urmeaza sa le platesc in viitor. ...

Urmeaza sa treaca din nou prin examenul de licenta..
Romania urmeaza sa fie una dintre putinele tari din Europa de Sud - Est in care (..) va fi prezenta si prin divizia sa de lux. ...

Legea urmeaza sa intre in dezbatere in..
Rromii care urmeaza sa ajunga in..
Urmeaza sa se adauge sumele provenite din drepturi de autor..
Ordonanta urmeaza sa treaca acum prim mainile deputatilor ..
Urmeaza sa isi deschida in curand portile. ...
Am primit green card si peste doua sapatamani urmeaza sa plec in...
Odata ce l-ai obtinut urmeaza sa astepti..
Urmeaza sa pun si poze. Multumesc! ...


23 aug. 2010

a bold attempt to resolve the “does money buy happiness?”

”Personally, I am skeptical about the proliferation of research purporting to tell us what people think. To me, it is not so much an aid to strategy as a substitute for it. We need to be cautious not to read too much into data when we don’t understand the context or methodology, or we don’t take a hard look at who is paying for it!

But, once in a while, a survey throws up some interesting tidbits – and so it is with the mammoth Gallup World survey that was conducted in 2005-06 and partially released in early July in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (Diener, Ng, Harter, Arora). Gallup conducted 136,000 phone interviews in 132 countries in a bold attempt to resolve the “does money buy happiness?” conundrum once and for all. Except that it didn’t – at least not with the clarity Gallup may have hoped for.

Instead, the findings pointed to a clear distinction between two kinds of happiness.

When assessed against long-term measures of happiness – “I am meeting my life goals and living a successful life” – there is a strong correlation with material wealth or lack thereof. People who are well-off financially tend to feel pleased with how their life is going; poorer people are generally dissatisfied.

But day to day happiness – “I am feeling happy today” – is weakly correlated with how rich or poor you are. In other words, whether or not you wake up happy tomorrow morning will be far more influenced by the quality of your relationships and your level of job satisfaction than the weight of your wallet.

Another way to look at these findings is that money buys theoretical happiness but not actual well-being. While it is good to feel satisfied about your healthy bank balance, it is surely just as important to actually live a happy life in the moment.

Gallup made a lot of phone calls to settle on a rather obvious conclusion: money does not buy happiness, at least not on its own. But this is not an either-or proposition. Material wealth brings abundant pleasure and satisfaction, but only when it comes hand in hand with those things that make life worthwhile to begin with: friendship, family, work, love and passion”



21 aug. 2010

Dumnezeu e numai unu’

Compunere facuta de Bula despre unicitatea lui Dumnezeu.

Dumneazeu mi-a spus: ”Daca vrei o viata dulce, vezi ca (eu/ei) sunt aici.”
Cand am deschis ochii si am vazut un singur Dumnezeu, am strigat:
”Dumnezeu e numai unu’!”

(variatiuni pe o tema data – data poporului roman :) -
Mama mi-a spus: “Daca vrei ceva dulce, vezi ca ti-am facut prajituri."
Cand am deschis frigiderul si am vazut o singura prajitura, am strigat:
“Mama e numai una!” )

Pe marginea unui comentariu al Elizei:
Dacă putem vorbi despre un Dumnezeu-Adevărat care există în fiecare
dintre noi, eu cred că e acel Dumnezeu în a cărui credinţă devenim mai
buni. Pentru mine, e un Dumnezeu al Respectului, Iubirii şi
Corectitudinii, pentru alţii e un Dumnezeu care distribuie pedepse şi
recompense în funcţie de ritualuri, penitenţe şi sacrificii, dar ambele
ipostaze sunt la fel de "adevărate" dacă ne determină să ne depaşim
limitele şi să devenim astăzi mai buni decât am fost ieri şi la fel de
false dacă se rezumă la declaraţii şi alegeri pur conjuncturale,
ghidate de un interes personal oarecare.
Publicat de către Elisabeta Stanciulescu la Invitaţie către înţelepciune , 8/21/2010

Comentariul are titlul DE CE EXISTA DUMNEZEU?
un raspuns corect ar fi DE FRANGHIE, MONSER!

raspuns care se intrevede si la Cioran in Ispita de a exista..

13 aug. 2010

Coaching pentru Constienta

nevoia de altul ca sa te dezvolti.
umanitatea e data de limbaj
ai nevoie sa vorbesti ca sa cresti.
dialogul interior este o forma de progres?
din nevoia de dialog cu altul,
omul internalizeaza paternul conversational
pentru a-si fi sie insusi cel cu care comunica si se dezvolta!

regresul la starea de dinainte de dialogul interior -
starea copilariei -
cand faci lucruri fara sa le pui in discutie
nu inseamna regasirea singuratatii persoanei,
ci a relatiei crescatoare de atunci -
cea care favorizeaza dezvoltarea celuilalt -
awarness /atentia la sine si la mediu (A),
choice /constientizarea a ce/cum alegi esti si a ce/cum te inconjoara (C),
trust / increderea in ceea ce esti (T/I)
ACT - acronimul actiunii in engleza
ACI - acronimul prezentului in romana

cand faci/ACT un lucru el este contopit/ACI cu prezentul -
fiind succesiune, fapta este in mod evident timp.

abaterea de la telul actiunii - telul tau -
e iesire din prezent.
din prezent iesi doar in doua directii -
in trecut si in viitor.

daca actionezi in prezent traind un timp trecut,
vei avea un rezultat trecut -
vezi confirmarea lui Einstein
(daca faci lucruri in acelasi fel,
nu te mira ca ai acelasi rezultat)

daca actionezi in prezent traind un timp viitor
nu vei ajunge niciodata la rezultat -
vezi confirmarea lui Ahile
(e mereu inaintea broastei, dar nu el ajunge primul)

dumneavoastra ce faceti acum?

fugit irreparabile tempus :)

, zise Iolanda, implinind 50 de ani!

io ma indeletnicii cu o transpunere -
(carte m a r e - drept in in moalele popoarelui nost')
asa ca imi vine sa translatez ashe:

fugi timpul, nereparat -
let's fix (sic!) the future!

ceea ce va doresc si dumneavoastra

moments of thanksfulness

the aim of any relationship
- with yourself and with others -
is that you are/live/manage the relationship in such a way
that you are living moments of thanksfulness to the related one -
either you, or someone else.

there is a hindu story about the soul of a dead person
which kiss the body to thank for sheltering it through life.

are you in a such a relationship with your Self
and with the other persons?

you are aim-able (able to reach your aim)
if you are ama-(a)ble (able to reach your and other's ama- soul)

one word equity

MB - proudly wearing my Self!

(end of a sabatic month :)))