On ''locus of control'' (1)

A coaching perspective: reinforcing internal locus of control*

With a specific approach in career path

Coaching is about ”unlocking a person’s potential to maximize their own performance”, Sir John Whitmore stated more than two decades ago, but who does control the.. key?! All professional regulations of this so efectiv profession stipulate that the coach assists and support  the client – listen, asks questions, give feed forward, challenge, empower – but never ever controls.. the lock’s key. Coaching is not a magic process, it is a learning process. The key did not twist by voodoo. Coaching itself is a twist between a present state to a desired one. It is the client who twist the key. 
Coaching is learning about your potential - unleashing talents, and is also learning about reality - exploring options, and is learning about being in control: make the step from will to act. It is not easy to do that, and this fact is more obvious when is about success – even in such situation there is a certain reluctance. How come? To clarify this intriguing aspect, I use to put client the so called control questions: ”What don’t you control? What are you trying to control? What you could control that you are not controlling?”

Locus of control was first coined by Julian B. Rotter, in his work Social Learning and Clinical Psychology, 1954, which integrated learning theory with personality theory. An articulate definition belongs to Philip Zimbardo:  “A locus of control orientation is a belief about whether the outcomes of our actions are contingent on what we do (internal control orientation) or on events outside our personal control (external control orientation)." It is not about two distinct references, but about unidemensional continuum, spanning from internal – I believe that my behavior is guided by my decisions, talents and efforts -  to external – I believe that my behavior is guided by the external conditions, by fate. How to use this insightful perspective in coaching?

*excerpt from a large article to be published in International Coaching News magazine

Forming the Habbit of Ownership in the workplace through Nestworking™

The organizational persona

A company’s culture is defined by attitudes, assumptions and beliefs  -  a true body of knowledge and feelings that shapes the characteristic way of doing the specific business. As in human being, for each company there is a pre-set DNA, preserved in the nutshell of founders’ vision: it has to be stated and sustained along the whole business development. Corporate is in-corporating this vision and displays it in the ’’how we do things here”, i.g. organizational culture (OC). Consequently, OC can be a key factor in a business success or failure over the years. But the focus is mostly on leader’s role in ”setting the scene” for success, and on coaching them on how to use their potential to create that environment to motivate and welcome staff’s involvement.

The leader

CEOs and management teams are in charge with leading people to the desired achievements. Leadership is fundamentally about how a chief (C)actually execute (E) the office* (O) of trans-forming the vision in acting. Usually, the statement ”leaders are in the best position to influence culture change” is unquestionable, but let spot a true challenge for a successful influence: the company's culture has to be open to be influenced. What does that suppose to mean? That employees are to be ready to be manipulated?! That trust and motivation are to be obtain by skillfully persuading people? Lets face the truth that many so called ”organizational communication programs for change OC” are rooted in such beliefs, consonant with the ”leadership proposition of the company”. Do the employees follow or are.. enrolled?

The follower

The very idea of leadership came from the battle fields:  leaders were the ones who ruled.  But the new „soldier” has a.. Second life!  Internet and Social media do challenge for good largely accepted findings on organizational persona. Back in 90ies, it was suggested that a meaningful company mission, employee’s involvement, consistency between whats and hows - values and deeds -, and adaptability to the business environment are closely related to ROI, return on investments. After 20 years, over tens of socializing platforms, and over millions of personal „walls” the situation had dramatically changed in terms of involvement:  companies have to welcome ownership as the stem relation for performance and success. But what is ownership? Ownership is not about giving shares to your employee, ownership is about being aware and responsible of  the fact that your employee gives company shares of her/his life, and the very value attached to these shares of professional - but personal! - life shapes the very value of the company. Ownership is the habit of being the owner of your life, and the feeling of being proud of this If the employee waits for every Friday to feel ownership - i.e. to be at full extent of her/his life -, who is present in the office each Monday?  If the company do not sustain developing ”the habit of ownership” for each and any of its employees, this very habit will not be practiced at work, and the losses could be fatal for not-owned organizational persona.

Nestworking™

Executive coaching do play a powerful role in changing organizational culture, but change should be secure through Nestworking™  programs for build and welcome the habit to owe your life in a flowing way, both personal and professional. These are not empty words, but full of true print consequences: employees will choose not to split life time in two: mine and “their”, for me and for them, lead by me and lead by them. A Nestworking™ worker is to be both intrapersonal and interpersonal effective, experienced in group dynamics, leadership and ownership development through effective learning work, interrelated to assessing and measuring both individuals features (e.g., abilities, attitudes, motivation, leadership) and organizations features (e.g., results, culture, climate). Through her/his very own Nestworking™ activities she/he will ensure there is a strong link between learning/coaching activities and personnel and organizational outcomes.    

Crisis as a flood: it is true that Noah was the needed leader of saving living beings, but was the possibility of making a nest the checking fact that ”anchor the change”. The life-proof for a solid grounds is Nestworking™  around activity. Lets do some!

 

Nestworking is a commercial trademark, owned by Magda Bunea and Brain Fitness.

 *from Latin  ’’officium’’: "service", "(sense of) duty")

Easy to measure is easy to focus upon

We all know the meaning of SMART for setting goals. It is a very useful tool to have a quick assesment of the work and its results. Even if only one feature has the name 'measurable', yet each of them needs to be measured throughout the processes of solving the tasks to achieve the desired goal.

The speed of changing in external markets and the growing importance of human factor in internal markets, both impose a steady evaluation of the degree each item keeps being appropriate and significant for successfully accomplished work.Therefor, we need to measure all of them:

- is the previous 'specific' characteristic of the goal - the whats&hows - fitting the present set?

- is the settled 'way to measure' sufficient for all the items interfering with the processes?

- is this path 'attainable', is it well resource-tailored in the given situation?

- is the 'realistic' matching the daily-new reality?

It is obvious, all four are not so easy to relate to, but the last one is much more easy to keep on track. Consequently, there is a focus on it, and slightly, in a very 'perverse' and dangerous way, managing the work becomes managing the time - the real progress to the real goal is getting unclear under the layers of crystal-clear attained deadlines.How come? Because time is in itself a well defined and 'touchable' variable.

It is easy to focus on something easy to measure.

When it is about coaching it is about goals. It is about SMART goals. It is the coach's challenge to support her/his client to choose easy to measure variable, yet critical for the successfully achieving the desired outcome. 

 

Image source: www. dailyplanit. com

How to be one of a kind ''employer of choice''?

How to meet all the requirements in the very order young talents would go for?

New media boosted the importance of internal communication quality
for companies' external branding.
A very interesting feature on Harvard Business Review blog
revealed a significant change in positioning items like "compensation",
and "market leadership" in the list of "job's advantage" of the newly grads.
Surprisingly, "people and culture fit" was the first!

How to efficiently express it?
What is a buy-in answer for the question:
"What is like to work there?"
For certain, you have to have a true story,
and an exquisite storyteller in charge of communication... 

 http://blogs.hbr.org/2014/03/how-companies-can-attract-the-best-college-talent/

"Innate excellence lies in the ability to learn." Timothy Gallwey

Question: 
Peter Principle: "in a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence", meaning that employees tend to be promoted until they reach a position at which they cannot work competently. How does coaching work in this regard?

Answer:
a. Obviously there are different levels of excellence in the mastery of any skill or knowledge base. Innate excellence lies in the ability to learn. From childhood on one can learn to increase competence. In some activities, like sports, competence can naturally decrease past a certain age.

b. Some abilities that need not decrease with age are the abilities to enjoy, to appreciate, to love.

c. The Peter Principle has to do with organizational behaviors, and does not speak to the ability to learn to increase competence once in a position beyond his competence. The coach’s job is to facilitate that learning. 

 (From the interview he gave me for the first number of COACHING NETWORK magazine.
He said he enjoyed answer my questions :))

Is so insightful to think about a funny thing: LinkedIn send us daily announcements on work anniversary, and here comes: "Tim Gallwey one year work anniversary with Performance Consultants"
Great!

Actually he said in the end of the interview:
I would have to grow in knowledge and clarity.
Yes, he is growing.

"What you really want" an interview with Tim Gallwey

Tim with his wife, Barbara /FB source/

CNN: ”Quest Means Business”

The show was aired after the beginning of the economical-financial crisis.
Before that, Richard Quest was the producer of „business traveler”.
This show is still on, but, more than meeting other people,
Now comes the time when you need to meet yourself.

”Our minds are no less inventive (…) Our capacity remains undiminished.” These are the words of Barack Obama towards the American people.
What do these words say?
You are the answer.
You have the capacity to do what must be done.
You are successful.

IT TAKES QUESTIONS TO RECEIVE ANSWERS. TO ACT. TO GAIN SUCCESS.
It takes someone who:

1. would create the feeling of pressing need in achieving the set goal
2. would validate your confusion and dilemma and
would accompany you in search for a solution
3. would facilitate the optimal vision revelation and the fact that you can accomplish it
4. would help you clarify and explore different options in order to achieve the desired result
5. would consolidate your energy to decide what to do and your power to do it
6. would assist you in obtaining results in a short time, as small as they are
7. would help you in analyzing consequences and feedback and in correcting
8. would facilitate the internalization of this other successful pattern * This facilitator of your meeting with yourself is the coach.
TO HAVE A COACH IS TO HAVE ACCESS TO WORTH. YOUR WORTH.
(The rest is already taken care of by Forbes.)

Magda Bunea, coach
Why me? There’s a first question. Quest means business.


----------------------------------------------------------
* familiar excerpt, isn’t it?

John Kotter – ”Eight Change Phases Model”:

1. Establish a sense of urgency
2. Create a coalition
3. Develop a clear vision
4. Share the vision
5. Empower people to clear obstacles
6. Secure short-term wins
7. Consolidate and keep moving
8. Anchor the change

”I am looking at you, coach!”

If you taking yourself to seriously, in a coaching situation - more than other kind of situations - it is obvious you not give client the needed space to develop and grow,

Because the subject is not she/he, it is your extra ego.

A ”Look who I am” position is inviting the client to ”I am looking at you, coach” position, i.e. she/he is spending the coaching time to look to (!) you instead of looking to him, i.e. looking for his sollution.

This kind of relationship is against the very fundamental of coaching relationship: be a guiding person, not a directive one. A guide helps an individual to arrive to the destination he chose, a guide is not imposing where he wants to be.

Even at a low level, this kind of attitude will prepare the stage for ”Tell me what to do, and I’ll do, coach!”: the client will stop working for finding a sollution because the coach looks like an expert in giving sollutions. Or, the opposite – the client will give sollution in a row, not because they are sollution for him, but beacause they are offerings for such a ”serious” coach.

More than that, instead client starts  working to develop the sollution, when he perceives the so-showed ”mightyness” of the coach, he is temptated to make his problem even more complicated, to work for finding more and more proofs to justify the existence of that problem. And things could go further from admiring the ”look-who-I-am” coach to disdain him – client works to developp the problem in order to humiliate the coach.

It is good to make the healthy difference between taking yourself too seriously – and being a serious individual, both personal, and professional.

As it is good to make the healthy difference between taking yourself in a too low position in the coaching relationship. The coaching standard practice recomends to have „a low position”. It is good to be aware of it along all the session, and do not play ”overwhelmed” by client’s problem.

”I am looking at you, coach!” had also consequences in such situations. The client will be temptated to make an easier life for coach: he will deliver option after option, he wil give proofs of happiness for finding a sollution he knows he will never apply. The same as in the previous case, the opposite is equally probable - the client develop the problem to make coach position even lower.

The session becomes a show when coach acts like playing a part – whether it is the all-mighty-guy, whether it is the all-weaky-guy. A workable approach in both situations is the truth: if is happend to feel competent in client sollution say it, as well if is happend to feel really overwhelmed by his problem.

Being authentic is the very expression of being onest.

Being human is the very expression of being in a person-to-person relationship.

Being a professional is the very expression of being qualifyed to practice it.

”I am looking at you, coach!”

Check in (!) here for see how I myself am looking at me practicing coaching :)

This post was ”invited” by a comment of a coach about my LinkedIn profile: I have to say your profile presentation is original and it made me smile. I am sensitive to human beings with a good sense of humor and not taking themselves too seriously along the ego lines ;-) I am sure you are doing a great work in Romania helping people out with your coaching skills and your wisdom. N.

When coaching is a game..

So many people live within unhappy circumstances and yet will not take the initiative to change, their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity and conservatism - all of which may appear to give one peace of mind. But in reality nothing is more dangerous to the adventurous spirit within a person than a secure future...."
Chris McCandless

I think the "because" sentence is important, and leads to a richer meaning of the topic.
Security - in a maslowian sens - is good.
Conformity - is not good.

I do like very much the 'pleading' for MOBILITY Tim Gallwey would give a whole chapter in his Inner Game of Work. Conformity is a submissive position to exterior -
to Self 1, in TG's terms - ignoring the mirriad of possibilities a person is born with - the Self 2.

As for 'conservatism of life' - this is a contradiction in terms: life can't be conservate -
only a corpse could be. So, my future is secure as an aware and trustful choice of myself = Self 2.

Mobility is the very fundamental of coaching. It prevents the worst situation:
Coach's Self 1 coachs Client's Self 1! Also the other one: Coach's Self 1 coachs Client's Self 2, the mobility owner! It is possible, with a directive person 'labeled' coach..

The coaching request of a person springs of the hardly seen Self 2, but the first session is likely to be 'conduct' by Self 1, the conformity owner. How to be there with your Client for having a last session lead by Self 2 - i.e. the person her/himSELF?

A coach indeed is a coach in deed :)

Un bun antrenament pentru coach este chiar acest model de folosit in sesiuni de coaching:
Inner Game - model de coaching

do not differentiate* within yourself

"In God
the word does not differ from the intention,
for He is true;
nor the word from the effect,
for He is powerful;
nor the means from the effect,
for He is wise."

Blaise Pascal

* there is that famous saying about (outer) markets,
and surviving in it:
”Differentiate or die”, Jack Trout

On the inner market, it is consistency what makes
purpose being achievable,
and the person her/himself ”buyable”.

If the words differ from the intention,
you are a liar (to yourself and others)
If the words differ from the effect,
you are manipulating (yourself and others)
If the means differ from the effects
you are harming (yourself and others)..

the antidote-question

From time to time, we all find our selves.. nell Inferno!
"Nel mezzo del cammin di nostra vita 
mi ritrovai per una selva oscura"
Dante, Divina Commedia
 
We find our selves in a mess we are not responsible for, 
but a mess which wants to control us.
We think we react getting anxious, 
but in fact we mess with, and re-act the same bothering action.

"Who the heck you think you are?!" - 
is a common question, but leads to a rhetoric serving
just to embody the other's shameless action,
and to stuck - by our free will! - in his/her muddy waters,
keeping us in the obscurity referred to by Dante.


Lets remember the innate question:
"Who the God does think I am?!"
Well, this very one sets the true scene - 
the good frame of reference: God is the true reference! -
and the right balance in life :)

"the point of view" - a powerful coaching tool/case study

In a coaching session the main thing a coach has to do is to focus on client's pattern to approach reality, because this very pattern is the one which has "headed" (oups) him/her to the problem he/she would want to solve.
In the saying What you see is what you get the "dealer" of what-you-get is what YOU SEE.
There are as many realities as many people are seeing them.
"You" is the point you shape a view. Then you "frame" it, and take it with you and look at any reality through it.
"The point of view" is a personal reference more powerful than the view it self.
On the other hand, nobody could see the real view. But we could try to make it work for us!

A coach job is to "deliver" different points of view for client to choose and - the most important thing - in order the client to learn to generate himself/herself different point of views on his/her situation.

This image above was posted by I. L. on social media with this comment:
 -  "The road ahead?"
 The sentence could've been a descriptive one, but the fact that was a question shifts it in a decision-making situation, and that makes the emotions arise. Their very expression is the "painter" of the frame of reference the speaker tends to apply.

A coach approach is to view the things which can help for using a situation to solve the problem attached to. It is the very skill the client could practice in the coaching session in order to change his/her pattern of relating to any other situation. I said:
 -  Lets see the best in it: 
if it will be raining you can step on stones (and do not be washed down by torrents); 
you get further, and higher, because the path is climbing; 
you can see the rainbow because there is a properly sized woods 
and.. you are alive because you actually are there ;-) 

"Client's" answers were:
 - And, if you're not careful, you can break your neck
 - Let's hope it will not rain too much before I'll get on higher grounds :)

It "paints" the frame of a terrifying future, where the focus is on dangers not on goal or on how to step safely to the goal, where the commitment to achieve the goal is in others control, and it shows a ready-to-accept-failure state of mind because of "the others" - God was (sic) raining!

As a coach, I go further acknowledge the present perspective the client displays, and working on this very one - as a new "image" on which to have new points of view. I said:
- From a coach's point of view (coaching is about language) what about using ”believe” instead of ”hope” - you know, it put the responsibility where it is suppose to be, and to belong ;-)

The answer was:
- I belive I can stretch my limits, even improve myself, learn more ... however I do not believe I can control rain, storm, wind :)

And here we are another "image" - another frame client paints revealing his/her references, in this particular case reinforcing the previous perspective about a ready-to-accept-failure "because of others". So, as a coach, lets use the same tool - propose another point of view on the new situation. I said:
- Do you can control what you do when it is raining, snowing, windy? And, may I tell you a Chinese proverb: The one who knows his limits is the King of the World. How about do not stretch limits, just know them?
About ”believing” in one situation, and not - in another, lets notice a technical fact: if you do not believe it is kinda you can believe.
 
The answer was:
- I do believe, but is too general to say so :)

And here we are a new "image" - a more profound frame of reference: the client moves from steps (on stones) to beliefs. Is the very place he/she can start to know him/her better, to choose, to grow.
It is actually the "stepping  stone".