8 aug. 2017

”She steps out of the way” - about silence as an esquisite coaching tool

This is a verse from a famous section of Tao te ching, written by Lao Tse, thousands years ago. And yet so actual.

Here you are one of my firsts writing on coaching, just months after finishing (2008) what was to become the best coaching training in Romania - ”Coaching Fundamentals”, designed and held by Alain Cardon, MCC.

What amazed me in terms of efficiency in coaching process was the silence tool - a sort of emptiness, but not the sort that frighten us, or the one which blame us for. It is a ”quality silence”, an empathetic, respectful, and, by all means, acknowledging clients potential and securing a place to be in a natural form, with her/his innate capabilities to live her/his life.

Scientists discovered, decades before, that an amputated limb is still perceived by the brain as being there, as well as a cut part of a leaf is still at its place, as we can see in this Kirlian effect picture:

(source of photography: www vectorpub dot com)

Many clients display a sort of ”chopped wholeness”, and the very role of a coach is to help them to recover their ”chunks” of possible probable potential. People are generally preoccupied by lost chunkces (sic!), but they named it ”failures”, or ”bad luck”, or - yes! - ”this is me”.

By the precise fact that the coach provides space for ”this could be real me”, the client is encouraged and invited to see the part she/he has thought was lost. Be silent - the client would hear her/his best inner voice.


About coaching as Chinese painting
Maybe you will overlook the subtitle and you will read – through a more used filter – “Chinese pinching”. That's wonderful! You just learned something else about yourself, you had the opportunity to leave the inner voice to talk, you made one more step towards that Gauguin’s “Where are we going?”, he himself given to the Chinese space, via Tahiti.

About coaching is it often stated that...read more.

Silence is the sine qua non request for attention, focus, learning, GROWing.

NESTworking is a development environment where we use silence, and support participants to use it for their own sake and for better communicating with others, for creating a culture of empowerment through ownership, of accountability and joy in the workplace - and in their personal life.