Who is talking to whom - and for what?

It is a very challenging approach regarding the coaching process,
because the listening is important for both
empowering the client and asking question
to enlarge her/his frame of reference.
Daniel Kahneman speaks about the difference between
experience selves (ES) and remembrance selves (RS).

„The ES lives its life continuesly, it has moments of experience – one after the other. (..)The RS defines a story - the story the memory delivers for us, and is also true that we make up changes, significant moments and endings, endings are very very important. (..)”

When asking a question are you – as a coach -
experiencing your living-in-the present self or
you are preparing a story for your remembrance self?!
When answering a question is the client experiences
the living-in-the-present self
or he is preparing a story for her/his remembrance self?

Of course, there are 4 possible positions in a coaching session
ES (coach) & ES (client)
ES (coach) & RS (client)
RS (coach) & ES (client)
RS (coach) & RS (client)

Which of these is the most appropriate –
given the mandatory need of autenticity in coaching?!
Is it about a dynamic movement through it?

Clients came in coaching because of RS.
The problem is in the (recent) past,
therefore it has all the RS’characteristics.
Oups. Is coaching about the mastery of producing
better endings for your RS?!

That specific approach of coaching of ’using the present situation’
is working on the mechanism of making-up RS on the spot –
therefore better use their ES.
..........





From a post 6 years ago! What happened while coaching?

Meanwhile, if you want to see.. what happened while nestworking, check my NESTworking programs - here, for open workshops for individuals: www.revdepov.ro/nestworking